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Exclusive report: List of NASCAR personalities Christmas wishes obtained

By admin | December 13, 2011


By Richard Allen

Recently, a roving reporter for RacingWithRich.com was able to obtain copies of Christmas wish lists made out by various NASCAR personalities before said lists were mailed off to Santa. Here, in a exclusive report, are some of the things the big red sleigh will be bringing to the Charlotte area on the night before Christmas:

Carl Edwards: “Dear Santa, please bring me one more point, that’s all I need…Just one more point.”

Brian Vickers: “Dear Santa, you wouldn’t happen to have Matt Kenseth’s home address, would you?”

Kurt Busch: “Hey dude, you best be bringing me a new ride… pronto. If you don’t then you’re just a worthless ______. And by the way, don’t spend too much time in my living room. Just get the _____ out of my face. Also, don’t count on any milk and cookies from me you _______.”(editor’s note: This letter had to be redacted.)

Ron Hornaday: “Dear Santa, I know where Kyle Busch lives. Just bring me the entry code number for his front gate.”

Kevin Harvick:
“Dear Santa, see Ron Hornaday above.”

Kyle Busch:
“Dear Santa, please ignore requests of Ron Hornaday and Kevin Harvick.”

Richard Childress: “Dear Santa, If you grant Hornaday and Harvick’s request then I’ll just need you to hold my watch.”

Kyle Busch II: “Dear Santa, in case you didn’t get my first request then I’d like to ask for a big guard dog.”

Brian France: “Dear Santa, I’d just like to know how you manage to keep your secrets, you know…secret.”

Brian France II:
“Dear Santa, if you can’t grant me wish number one then please send a roll of ‘200mph tape’ for those who have trouble keeping secret fines to themselves.”

Steve Addington: “Dear Santa, I just want to say thank you…really, just thank you.”

Roger Penske:
“Dear Santa, I usually don’t ask you for much since, as you know, I own everything. But I will echo the thoughts of Steve Addington.”

Tony Stewart:
“Dear Santa, please send me a time machine just in case this crew chief swap doesn’t work out so I can go back in time and undo it.”

Tony Stewart II:
“By the way Santa, thanks for coming by early and hauling off that dead weight for me.”

Rusty Wallace:
“Dear Santa, please send a set of remote controls so I can drive my son’s car from the broadcast booth.”

Joe Gibbs:
“Dear Santa, could you just get someone with a camera phone to hang out around Kyle in the garage next season?”

Kentucky Speedway:
“Dear Santa, please give us a four hour rain delay next year so that we can actually get most of the fans inside the track for the race.”

Dale Earnhardt, Jr.:
“Dear Santa, did you see the girl I took to the banquet in Vegas? I’m good.”

Note from Santa:
“Dear NASCAR Nation, I may be a bit delayed in my travels this year. Richard Childress and his grandsons, Austin and Ty, came to the North Pole for a visit and three of my reindeer have suddenly gone missing.”

I don’t know how many of these request will be granted but it is an interesting list to say the least.

Topics: Articles |

2 Responses to “Exclusive report: List of NASCAR personalities Christmas wishes obtained”

  1. Mr. Tony Geinzer Says:
    December 14th, 2011 at 8:56 pm

    I wished you’d do David Reutimann or Ragan’s Christmas Wishes, but, their not as funny as Kurt or Kyle Busches.

  2. Offkilter Says:
    December 17th, 2011 at 6:27 pm

    Richard, this is hilarious!
    May i add?

    Dale jr II
    Thanks again Santa for last year’s wish. Shucks, man, Letart is purdy good.

    Steve Letart
    Santa, could you help me and jr find 3/10 of a second?

    Nascar Nation
    Dear Santa, could you reconfigure all the 1.5 mile tracks to half mile tracks? We promise to be good and not fall asleep ever again in front of the tv and the die hards promise to return to the grand stands.